A Sydney woman, 33, experienced a shocking twist on a first breakfast date when her companion demanded a $38 refund via text after she declined a second meeting.
The Breakfast Date Gone Wrong
Kokom Komariyah shared the unusual incident on Instagram, highlighting how a casual outing escalated into one of the pettiest moments in modern dating. She described feeling blindsided by the man’s request.
“My dating life in Australia isn’t over. I know I’ve shared a lot of bad experiences, but I promise… I’ve had some good ones too,” Kokom stated in her video. “But this one? I really didn’t expect it to turn out like this.”
Kokom views herself as traditional in dating norms, especially for initial encounters. “Australian way or not, I still think if you genuinely want to get to know someone, it’s natural for the guy to pay on the first date—especially when he was calling me ‘my girl’ like he was about to take care of me,” she explained. “For me, splitting the bill on a first date already feels like ‘just friends’.”
The Text Exchange
The conversation began politely. The man asked, “Would you like to meet again sometime?”
Kokom responded, “I think you are a great guy but unfortunately I don’t feel the connection.”
His reply shifted abruptly: “That’s alright. Please transfer me the $38 for that breakfast. Thank you.”
Kokom reacted swiftly, unmatching him immediately. “I was so shocked I just unmatched him straight away,” she said. “Maybe I should have paid him back?”
Online Debate Ignites
The video sparked intense discussions, with thousands debating the man’s actions. Some insisted fairness required splitting costs upfront if interest waned.
“If you knew whilst he was paying for the date that you weren’t interested, you should have picked up your own bill. Why should he pay for you?” one commenter argued.
Others defended Kokom, calling the demand unreasonable. “All the women saying she should pay him back are so weird! Keep your money Gurl!” a supporter wrote. “Men don’t realise we don’t have to like them just because they bought us food,” another added.
“And to the other ladies, start dating better men, because I’ve never had to pay back a first date, even when there was no second,” a third commenter noted.
Broader Dating Insights
The incident fuels ongoing talks about expectations in contemporary dating, including who covers costs and what follows a first date. Australian matchmaker Louanne Ward notes that women often decide a man’s potential in seconds through ‘thin slicing’—a rapid neurological assessment of traits like confidence and stability.
“When it comes to dating, she doesn’t need hours to decide,” Louanne explains. “She needs about seven-to-twelve seconds. And whatever happens in that narrow window, that’s when her brain makes the call.”
“She’s not deciding consciously,” she adds. “But neurologically, her brain is scanning for very specific things.”
Many view the refund request as overly transactional. One observer remarked, “So, he would only pay if she keeps hanging out? That sounds like a service.”
