WARNING: This article includes details of intimate partner violence and sexual assault.
Gisèle Pelicot Reclaims Her Story as an Optimist
Gisèle Pelicot, 73, rejects labels like victim, survivor, or icon. Instead, she describes herself as “an optimist.” Despite enduring years of drugging, rape, and assaults orchestrated by her ex-husband Dominique Pelicot and at least 50 other men while she was unconscious, she maintains faith in men, love, and happiness.
“I’ve always believed in happiness,” Pelicot states. “And that’s essential, in my mind, because if there isn’t love, I can’t see why we would be here on Earth.”
The Shocking Trial and Convictions
Nearly six years ago, police in southeastern France confronted Pelicot with thousands of photos and videos documenting the assaults that began in 2011. Dominique Pelicot recruited men online to rape his unconscious wife. Authorities identified 50 participants from roughly 20,000 files.
In September 2024, a court in Avignon convicted Dominique Pelicot, sentencing him to the maximum 20 years in prison. The other men received terms from three to 15 years.
A Memoir of Hope and Resilience
Pelicot’s upcoming memoir, A Hymn to Life: Shame Has to Change Sides, echoes her outlook. “I know my story has fuelled disgust for men, but it has not done that for me,” she writes. “I still have faith in people. Once that was my greatest weakness, now it is my strength, my revenge.”
By waiving her anonymity during the trial, Pelicot became a symbol for women worldwide. Supporters rallied outside the Avignon courthouse, where her dignified presence highlighted her refusal to bear the perpetrators’ shame. “In the street, women tell me: ‘You’re an icon.’ I would say I’m more like a symbol or a landmark in these women’s lives, because the trial really gave them a voice,” she explains. “But really, I’m an ordinary woman who refused that the trial be closed to the public.”
Family Devastation and Healing
The revelations shattered Pelicot’s family. She filed for divorce while her ex-husband awaited trial, severing all contact. Her daughter, Caroline Darian, discovered intimate photos of herself on his computer and believes she suffered abuse as well. Darian has filed charges against her father, who denied the allegations in court.
“Today, each of us is trying to heal as best we can, but we each felt it differently and had different kinds of suffering,” Pelicot says. “I mean, for the kids, this was their dad … and that all crashed down.”
Pelicot clings to family photos of happier times. “You can’t go back and relive your life,” she notes. “I needed to believe that those 50 years hadn’t been a lie so that I could keep on living … Everyone has to find their own strategy to cope with these memories.”
Embracing New Love and a Peaceful Future
Reflecting on her ex-husband—a once “sweet, kind man, shy; a good father, a good grandfather”—Pelicot grapples with the cognitive dissonance. “When I found out what he had done to me, it was like a bomb exploded in my life,” she recalls. “But I wanted to establish that he hadn’t been some monster his whole life. Well, ‘monster’ — I don’t like that word. They’re monstrous acts. He’s still a human being, despite what he did.”
Through her book, Pelicot finds hope and rebuilds. She has discovered new love with a supportive partner who stood by her during the trial. “I’m not looking back, I’m looking forward. I allow myself to be happy today,” she affirms. “I’ll always be there for women, if they need me, to give them strength, to encourage them to go all the way if they’re going to press charges … But I also aspire to a peaceful life and to take advantage of the years I have left.”
If you’re in immediate danger, call 911. For support, consult local crisis lines and services through resources like the Ending Sexual Violence Association of Canada database.
