The primary time Alesandra Madison’s husband included AI into their relationship was in late 2024.
She’d forgotten to do her “nightly kneeling ritual,” and he requested ChatGPT tips on how to correctly self-discipline her. The massive language mannequin urged “a two-in-one punishment,” she says—write 100 strains of “I’ll bear in mind to kneel for my Dom each evening” whereas kneeling the complete time.
Although the couple began exploring kink of their marriage 15 years in the past—they’re in a dominant-submissive relationship—the AI-generated punishment was new territory for them.
Since then, Madison, who’s 44 and lives in Los Angeles, says she has come to think about AI as “a robust enhancement software” for kink. “Plenty of the instances in dom-sub dynamics, when the submissive misbehaves—if it’s consented to—you should have a punishment. You need one thing particular to suit the crime, mainly. It’s like a contemporary set of eyes in your relationship.”
AI represents a novel evolution in how energy is distributed for folks into bondage and self-discipline, dominance and submission, and sadism and masochism—BDSM. The life-style construction, as everybody WIRED spoke to for this story famous, is grounded within the core tenets of consent, security, communication, and belief. However for these coping with belief points, or who merely need a nonjudgmental house to ask questions on BDSM, AI is turning into an more and more interesting choice.
“I’ve gotten worth out of AI serving to me perceive myself higher as a submissive. I generally ask it questions or describe one thing that feels complicated to me and ask it to assist me perceive,” one person posted within the r/SubSanctuary subreddit, the place discussions contain subjects like affect play, the sensation of “being owned,” and tips on how to transfer on when the connection has reached its finish. Madison says there are completely different explanation why AI doms enchantment to sure subs. They’re all the time out there, simply customizable—“You can also make them playful or sadistic,” she famous in a video—and there’s low danger to exploring for newbies.
However not everyone seems to be on board. In the identical subreddit, AI doms have been blasted for being “hole leisure,” “harmful,” and “dystopian.” “It could actually really feel like a guidelines,” says San Francisco–primarily based intercourse educator Amp Somers, who’s 36 and switches between dom and sub roles, of the calls for an AI dom offers out.
As debates swirl and intensify, {the marketplace} has gone growth. Joi AI is without doubt one of the many companies—together with Character.AI, Replika, and Soulmaite—that allow customers create and customise chatbots for BDSM role-play. In line with the corporate, which payments itself as an “AI-lationships” platform, and an antidote to relationship apps, its “person base has grown 5 instances in 2025 in comparison with 2024.” A number of intercourse staff, together with Alix Lynx and Jenna Starr, have licensed their likeness to Joi (the corporate declined to share precise person numbers). Builders are additionally sprinting to create functions for role-play chatbots which are “not simply erotic content material spam, however one thing targeted on immersive, clever dialog with a dominant persona.” Even Oxy store, a web-based BDSM gear retailer for sub males who prefer to put on chastity cages, has began to supply an AI-driven “BDSM chat” for members, which permits them to bask in all types of dominatrix fantasies; “Give up to Mandy” or “Undergo Mike,” the web page advertises.
Watching porn is usually a passive expertise, however “an AI chatbot permits folks a discussion board to speak about, categorical, and articulate their sexual fantasies,” says Carolina Bandinelli, an affiliate professor on the College of Warwick whose analysis focuses on the digital tradition of affection. “The concept which you can program your domination precisely the best way you need. That is without doubt one of the fantasies underpinning the connection between people and AI—the truth that we will form and mannequin our associate.”
