Escaping Homelessness: Daily Fears of Returning to Streets

A Personal Journey from Survival to Ongoing Anxiety

After enduring homelessness until July 2019, the constant dread of returning to the streets lingered. Transitioning back to everyday life proved challenging, marked by deep trauma from years on the road and a decade-long escape from an abusive domestic partnership.

Securing housing near my rural Manitoba hometown offered some relief, but stability remained elusive. The remote location strained finances on employment income assistance, with rent consuming nearly 90 percent of benefits. This left just over $100 monthly for groceries, essentials, and bills.

Isolation and Limited Access to Resources

The area lacked basic amenities—no grocery stores, doctors, or public transit. Essential services like the food bank sat 11 kilometers away in Steinbach, requiring rides from community outreach volunteers. When transportation failed, walking became the only option, a grueling round trip.

Without cellphone service or affordable internet, reaching out for help meant trekking to a nearby convenience store for public Wi-Fi. That access ended when the owners secured the network with a password, further isolating me.

Health Struggles Amid Hardship

Nerve damage in my shoulder and right arm, along with osteophytes on my cervical disc, stemmed partly from months backpacking my belongings during homelessness. That harsh winter brought malnutrition after limited food access led to starvation and an inability to digest solids. Community outreach provided vital supplements for partial recovery.

Winter nights blurred into isolation, spent curled by a baseboard heater in pain, yearning for relief. By spring, the pandemic intensified needs, leading to temporary couch-hopping in Steinbach for proximity to support.

Relocation and Renewed Instability

Eventually, an upstairs suite in downtown Steinbach seemed promising, closer to resources for healing. Yet, in early 2021, the landlord’s arrangement with another tenant forced an abrupt move, threatening renewed homelessness unless affordable housing emerged.

After four months of searching, a spot in Crystal City—three hours west—provided a foothold. Two years post-homelessness, mental health support remained out of reach. One doctor suggested prayer; another dismissed concerns as work avoidance. Disability approval finally came, but progress was slow.

Four Years On: Stability Tempered by Fear

Today, four years later, the same Crystal City home endures, thanks to supportive landlords. Housing insecurity has faded, yet daily fear of sudden displacement persists. Mental health challenges—worthlessness, self-loathing, intense flashbacks—dominate, alongside a state of hypervigilance, like teetering on a cliff’s edge.

A recent evaluation confirmed complex post-traumatic stress disorder, validating long-ignored struggles. Society often assumes housed individuals recover swiftly and rejoin the workforce, overlooking the need to address trauma for true healing and societal reintegration.

A Call for Empathy and Understanding

Recovery from homelessness demands perseverance amid rough paths. Success here aims to inspire others facing similar battles, fostering greater empathy for those feeling invisible and hopeless.