Because the car approached the Tijuana border, Etelvina Lázaro’s son, sitting behind the wheel, requested her once more if she was certain.
“I’ve already made up my thoughts,” she recalled telling him in Spanish. “I’m leaving.”
Lázaro, a 54-year-old grandmother, had lived along with her household in San Diego for over 20 years. However after her husband, Margarito, was arrested by federal immigration brokers in mid-July after which deported, she made the laborious resolution to depart her grown youngsters and grandchildren behind and comply with him to Mexico.
She is one in every of a number of undocumented immigrants who’ve determined to depart the nation on their very own amid President Donald Trump’s intensified efforts to crack down on unlawful immigration.
The federal authorities launched a course of in Could dubbed Mission Homecoming, urging undocumented immigrants to return to their native international locations or face the results. By way of the CBP Residence cell app, eligible people can register for voluntary departure and obtain a $1,000 exit bonus, a flight residence and an exemption from fines for failure to depart.
“Depart by yourself phrases. Keep away from the jail cell. Keep away from the humiliation,” reads an Immigration and Customs Enforcement put up about “self-deportation” on the social media platform X.
A Division of Homeland Safety spokesperson mentioned Thursday that “tens of hundreds” of undocumented immigrants have utilized the CBP Residence app however didn’t present a selected quantity.
Knowledge obtained by ProPublica from DHS signifies that there have been about 25,000 departures through the cell app — and slightly greater than half of them returned with help from the federal company, in accordance with the information report.
However it’s unclear what number of, like Lázaro, have left quietly.
Lázaro mentioned she was unaware of such a course of. As a substitute, she selected to depart on her personal. In a manner, she mentioned, she continues to be damage by what occurred. Earlier this month, she had her son drive her to Tijuana, and from there, she flew to her hometown in Michoacán.
She left as a result of she wished to be along with her husband, relatively than out of concern of being detained. She mentioned that concern went away once they have been separated.
María Chávez, a San Diego-based immigration lawyer, mentioned two of her shoppers opted to self-deport after being detained exterior the courthouse.
Folks have additionally been asking Chávez or different attorneys concerning the CBP Residence app and whether or not those that have used it are literally receiving the $1,000.
“For the people who’re detained, it’s as a result of they don’t wish to be detained. They’re not criminals. They’ve by no means performed something unhealthy or something that may warrant them to be detained,” she mentioned.
Within the different instances she has heard about, she mentioned, “it’s extra so about simply being afraid of being caught and wanting to depart with their dignity intact,” she mentioned. “They wish to be those to dictate how and when.”
Additionally, she mentioned, “There are people who find themselves simply leaving on their very own and never even bothering to undergo the app.”
Related efforts have been made by earlier administrations. In 2008, the federal authorities launched a “Scheduled Departure” pilot program in some U.S. cities, together with San Diego. This system finally ended after failing to generate curiosity.
The chance to say goodbye
Two days earlier than Lázaro left, her church group on the Our Woman of Guadalupe parish in Logan Heights, the place she and her husband have been as soon as sacristans, took a second on the finish of a gathering to hug her and say heartfelt goodbyes. It was one thing they by no means had the possibility to do along with her husband.

Lázaro sat along with her head bowed in the course of the room whereas these round her put their palms on her shoulders and wished her effectively one final time.
“Could she know that regardless of the place they’re on this planet, they’ll at all times be a part of our group,” wished one of many parishioners. “Could they by no means really feel alone.”
“It’s unhappy to see somebody who has been compelled to depart,” mentioned Deacon Javier Mozo, who has identified the household for years. “However on the identical time, there may be additionally pleasure as a result of she is a lady prepared to comply with her husband wherever he goes. That speaks to the love between them … people might attempt to divide them, however God will carry them again collectively in any scenario.”
The evening after, at her San Diego condo, she managed to suit a part of the life she had constructed within the U.S. through the years into three suitcases and two massive baggage.

She glanced round yet another time. The household pictures that had as soon as adorned the partitions have been now in one of many baggage, frameless. Amongst them was a photograph of her and her husband on their marriage ceremony day. She additionally packed two hats that her husband didn’t have an opportunity to take with him.
“It was very laborious to make this resolution,” she mentioned, combating again tears. “It hurts me due to my youngsters. It hurts that we’re going to be separated.”
Their lives modified the second she obtained a name from her husband letting her know that he had been arrested by federal brokers whereas on his method to his development job. Her husband, who had beforehand been deported in 2008, agreed to not struggle his case and to be despatched again to Mexico.

Lázaro, who cleaned homes for a residing, mentioned that it didn’t take lengthy for her husband’s absence to take a toll on her.
“I’m not the identical particular person I was,” she mentioned. “Generally I simply wish to go to mattress and sleep. I don’t really feel like doing something.”
Her youngsters inspired her to go to Mexico to be with their father, assuring her that they’d deal with one another.
“It’s unhappy. It received’t be the identical anymore,” mentioned her eldest son, José Peña. “I received’t be capable of cease by and see my mother every single day.”
On the identical time, Peña mentioned he believes it’s time for her to relaxation and spend time with their father.
Lázaro mentioned that she and her husband plan to finally transfer to Tijuana in order that their youngsters can go to them. Her husband plans to get again to work in development.

The Rev. Scott Santarosa of Our Woman of Guadalupe mentioned that the farewell gathering was meant to offer closure, which is one thing that not many immigrant households have the chance to expertise.
“He disappeared,” he mentioned of Lázaro’s husband. “We couldn’t say goodbye, and it left an enormous gap in our individuals and in our group.”
Rebuilding a life collectively
Lázaro reunited along with her husband within the rural city of San Francisco Uricho, Michoacán. They’re staying along with her mom, whom she had not seen in many years.

In a telephone interview final week, she mentioned that the city of greater than 2,000 inhabitants has modified rather a lot since she and her husband left looking for a greater life. There are extra homes and other people. Nonetheless, she mentioned, many like her migrated to the U.S. through the years.
She acknowledged the unhappiness she felt the evening she crossed the border again into Mexico after being away for a few years.
Per week later, after having had time to course of issues, she says she feels she will, a minimum of for now, adapt to residing in her outdated city once more.
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