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Politics

My father was price hundreds of thousands. I believe my mom is stealing my inheritance. What can I do?

Madisony
Last updated: August 12, 2025 6:11 pm
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My father was price hundreds of thousands. I believe my mom is stealing my inheritance. What can I do?
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“My mom mentioned there was nothing left for us, and I used to be by myself, so I took it at face worth and created my life from the bottom up.” (Picture topic is a mannequin.) – Getty Pictures/iStockphoto

I’ve a father or mother who handed a few years in the past after I was nonetheless in faculty. I grew up in what I’d name an upper-middle class family. However as I’ve gotten older, I’ve realized I did in truth develop up in a really good dwelling: personal faculties, great schooling, trip properties and many others.

Nonetheless, when my dad handed, all the things stopped. Thoughts you, this was in early 2000, earlier than the Web and such. My mom mentioned there was nothing left for us, and I used to be by myself, so I took it at face worth and created my life from the bottom up.

I’ve created a reasonably good life for my household. I’m a GS-14 with the Division of Protection and have a rewarding profession. As I’ve gotten older, I found my father did have fairly a big property ($3 million to $4 million).

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My brother was not talked about in my father’s will because it was written and registered earlier than he was born. It appears there are nonetheless accounts on the market in my title, and my mom is drawing cash from them, therefore the occasional want for her to substantiate safety questions.

We aren’t shut. After my father handed, she kicked us to the curb — not solely financially but in addition emotionally and as a father or mother. Though I used to be 20 when he died, I grew up in a household the place we had been very shut, so it was fairly jarring.

I needed to give up faculty for a few years to even determine easy methods to reside and survive.

The Daughter

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Banks don’t have an obligation to seek out beneficiaries. 
Banks don’t have an obligation to hunt out beneficiaries. – MarketWatch illustration

You probably did survive.

You’re wanting within the rearview mirror and, because the previous saying goes, some objects seem nearer. They embrace your father’s wealth, your mom’s entry to his property, and the estrangement that has taken maintain of your loved ones within the wake of his loss of life. There’s a whole lot of ache in your letter, and it might be manifesting itself by this monetary lens.

You may have three issues: a will that ought to have gone by probate (assuming such a will even existed); suspicions, however no proof, that you’ve been a named beneficiary on a few of your father’s accounts; and the statute of limitations on any means to should contest the settling of your father’s property.

In New Jersey, as an illustration, the statute of limitations for will contests is simply 4 months. “For individuals who reside outdoors of New Jersey on the time of the need’s probate, somewhat further time is added,” says the Knee Legislation Agency. “Folks outdoors of New Jersey have six months to challenge a proper contest of the need.”

“After this era, you often can’t problem the need or attempt to declare any portion of the deceased’s property,” it provides. “4 months would possibly appear to be a really quick period of time, however the excellent news is that you just do have somewhat further time in particular circumstances. A decide might rule to permit a will problem after the statute of limitations has handed.”

An executor who doesn’t ship out a discover that the need has been probated to all of the deceased’s subsequent of kin and beneficiaries is one such purpose, the legislation agency says. “Any kind of fraud, neglect or improper conduct in the course of the probate interval might result in an extension on the time restrict for will contests.”

The underside line: You’re a survivor and also you created a financially unbiased life for your self within the years since your father’s loss of life. For those who really imagine your father’s needs have been ignored, you possibly can contact the probate courtroom within the county the place your father lived to entry a public copy of any will in existence.

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Banks don’t essentially have an obligation to hunt out beneficiaries. If a financial institution had purpose to imagine somebody is unaware they’re a beneficiary, if the beneficiary is a minor or in any other case has no data of the account, the financial institution may select to take steps to make sure that the beneficiary is conscious of their rights, though this isn’t a statutory requirement.

It appears inconceivable that your mom would have management over an account — and have on-line entry — if the account was in your father’s title alone, and also you had been listed as a beneficiary. The executor/administrator of your father’s will would have notified the monetary establishment of your father’s passing and introduced a loss of life certificates.

You can rent a lawyer and speak to your father’s financial institution and/or contact his then-lawyer, if they’re nonetheless practising. If there’s an account that has been mendacity dormant for that point, they need to be capable of find it. Upon contacting the financial institution, it has an obligation to switch funds to a named beneficiary after the account holder’s loss of life.

My suspicion is that you’re conflating the breakdown of your relationship together with your mom since your father’s loss of life with monetary skulduggery. Needless to say many states have guidelines that make it tough and/or unimaginable to fully disinherit a partner. It’s extremely unlikely an legal professional would have suppressed your father’s will.

Relying on the place she lives, your mom would have been in a position to declare an “elective share” of his property, the quantity of which is determined by how lengthy they had been married. This is applicable even when your father had explicitly disinherited his spouse (which appears unlikely). The elective share continues to be legitimate even when your father merely omitted your mom from his will.

For those who imagine your mom — or anybody — has used your private info or Social Safety quantity to open an account or borrow cash or in any method impersonate you, log onto all three main credit score bureaus — Experian EXPGY , TransUnion TRU and Equifax EFX— and lock your credit score so nobody can take out loans or open accounts in your title.

Discuss to your mom. Discuss to the financial institution. Discuss to your probate courtroom. After which let it go.

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Earlier columns by Quentin Fottrell:

‘I’ve an awesome mortgage fee’: I want $80K to purchase my husband out of our dwelling. Do I raid my $180K Roth IRA?

‘I’m uninterested in company America’: My spouse and I’ve $1.65 million. I’m 61. Can I retire already?

‘This rip-off stuff goes to worsen’: A person approached me in my automotive — he had a loopy story

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