Lucia Hawley, niece of Nicole Kidman, opens up about the devastating day her father, Angus Hawley, passed away at age 46 from a suspected heart attack during a business trip in New York in 2015.
The Shocking Moment
At 16 years old, Lucia played dress-up with her then-eight-year-old sister on a balmy Saturday afternoon. The INXS song ‘Never Tear Us Apart’ played in the background as she wore a pink tutu. Her mother then delivered the heartbreaking news.
“I don’t really know how to describe the feeling of losing someone,” Lucia shares, calling it the greatest sadness of her life. She expected life-altering events to come with some warning.
Desperate Attempts to Reach Him
In shock, Lucia dialed her father’s number repeatedly, hoping he would answer. “I hoped he would pick up, but naturally, he didn’t – he had, in fact, died. Never to be seen or heard from again,” she recounts. She called thousands of times, dissolving into sobs as grief overwhelmed her.
Journey Through Grief
Each anniversary since 2015 brings a new stage of grieving. Early years brought excruciating pain, but time has softened it. “The pain has become less excruciating, less consuming. Instead, it feels more distant – still tender and present, but not the beast that it used to be,” Lucia explains.
A decade later, she has learned to live alongside her grief, embracing and nurturing it. “It’s hard to put into words how much losing my dad has taught me about the world,” she reflects. “In some ways, it feels like yesterday he was here and in others, it’s hard to imagine a world where he existed. 11 years on, and I still miss him every day.”
Cherished Family Memories
Lucia’s tribute features throwback photos and videos, including Angus cradling her as a baby and dancing joyfully with her as a toddler. She also shares images of siblings Hamish, 25, James, 23, and Sybella, 17, enjoying time with their father.
Messages of Support
Former Seven presenter Jess Rowe and journalist Melissa Hoyer offered comforting words. “So beautiful, darling Lucia, thank you for sharing this with us,” Jess Rowe writes. Melissa Hoyer adds, “Articulated so beautifully – what a proud dad he would certainly be.”
Angus had divorced Antonia Kidman in 2007 and married Prue Fisher in March 2011. He suffered the cardiac arrest en route to the hospital.
