A actuality TV present I’d been looking ahead to 17 seasons lastly bought fascinating when it admitted your complete idea wasn’t working.
Sister Wives has adopted Kody Brown’s Mormon polygamous household since 2010, however in 2021, one in all his wives left. Then one other, and one other, and one other. Now, he’s monogamous.
In a voiceover throughout the TLC collection’ opening credit, Brown states that “love must be multiplied, not divided.” In later seasons, the wives started giving the vibe that they weren’t actually feeling that love. The primary one to flee their association was Christine Brown Woolley. Her just lately launched tell-all memoir, Sister Spouse, exposes the neglect and battle that polygamous tradition inspired her to bury for many years.
Janelle Brown, Christine Brown, Kody Brown, Meri Brown and Robyn Brown current a united entrance within the first season of Sister Wives earlier than all of it fell aside. (TLC/Courtesy Everett Assortment)
Woolley’s e-book hit cabinets simply days earlier than Splitsville, a darkish comedy in regards to the trappings of marriage and the complexities of polyamory, was launched in theaters in every single place. Within the movie, a girl asks for a divorce from her husband as a result of she’s been untrue. When he seeks recommendation from his married buddies, they are saying the key to their relationship’s success is polyamory. Naturally, all of it blows up of their faces, resulting in an explosive combat that pokes enjoyable on the lengths {couples} will go to as a way to keep collectively for the sake of cash and youngsters. All of it feels so hopeless.
These examples observe a spike in books and TV reveals depicting poly existence in 2023 and 2024, which some say sensationalized the idea as a revolutionary and doubtlessly relationship-saving answer.
However polyamory is not only a popular culture trope; it is turn into a extra widespread follow in real-life relationships. In response to Pew Analysis information from 2023, one-third of Individuals surveyed mentioned open marriages are considerably or utterly acceptable. It’s popping up on relationship apps as Hinge, Bumble and Tinder expanded their relationship choices to incorporate moral nonmonogamy, and Feeld, which payments itself because the relationship app for “open-minded people,” is taking on extra of the market share.
Author Olga Khazan famous the shift in attitudes towards polyamory in early 2024, because the fallout of the #MeToo motion positioned worth on transparency in relationships and the pandemic made individuals anxious in regards to the fleeting nature of life and extra open to experiencing new issues.
As of 2025, polyamory could also be more and more normalized, however its illustration in popular culture has turned bitter. Because the pendulum of recognition shifts from monogamy to nonmonogamy to monogamy once more, therapists level to a variety of things that would clarify why it is turn into such a bummer onscreen.
It doesn’t ‘repair’ a relationship
“I believe the obsession with polyamory missed what individuals had been really craving — intercourse with extra individuals,” Brooklyn, N.Y.-based therapist Julie Goldberg tells Yahoo. “To me, that is nonetheless alive and properly in NYC, simply not by means of a polyamorous lens.”
Goldberg, who jokes that she practices within the “coronary heart of the polyamory bubble,” says she’s seen different therapists finish their very own polyamorous relationships. Even the writer of Polysecure, a 2020 e-book about nonmonogamy and attachment, is now functionally monogamous, Goldberg says.
As a relationship assemble, she says it’s not intellectually interesting. As a substitute, Goldberg says serial relationship and “corridor passes” have turn into extra standard for {couples} who might need thought-about committing to polyamory, and because of this,” issues are getting means easier.”
Michael Angelo Covino, Kyle Marvin, Adria Arjona and Dakota Johnson play the members of two completely different {couples} who dabble in polyamory within the film Splitsville. (Neon/Courtesy Everett Assortment)
As a result of polyamory is usually deployed as a last-ditch effort to avoid wasting a relationship, it may be blamed for making the whole lot collapse. That’s not all the time the true cause for a breakup, which is probably going deeper and extra private — like it’s in Splitsville, when the {couples} simply cease liking one another, or in Sister Wives, when relationships constructed upon a basis of one thing lower than real love began to collapse.
It’s not taboo — simply tough
“Culturally, it’s straightforward to scapegoat nonmonogamy as a result of it makes for a cleaner narrative,” intercourse therapist Lauren Consul tells Yahoo.
That actually applies to the {couples} in Splitsville, although the difficulties of polygamy had been all the time on the root of the conflicts among the many forged of Sister Wives. However they didn’t flip to it as a result of it was stylish — it was a spiritual necessity that individuals liked to gawk at.
There’s much less gawking now, some say. Polyamory was launched to a lot of the general public by means of reveals like HBO’s Large Love, which made it appear overseas and strange, however because it turned a extra widespread means for individuals to navigate relationships, it turned much less enjoyable and forbidden and extra sophisticated.
Richelle Dadian, a psychologist who focuses on moral nonmonogamy, tells Yahoo that now that polyamory is much less “taboo,” persons are speaking about it extra earlier than diving into it — and that’s good, as a result of it’s quite a lot of exhausting work.
“After all, it would not work for everybody … of us must have a number of expertise, together with wonderful communication, the power to self-reflect and introspect and emotional intelligence,” she says.
Then again, psychological well being counselor Alyson Curtis doesn’t assume there’s been a lot of a shift in perspective towards polyamory in any respect. It’s all the time been ridiculed. It was just lately the butt of jokes in topical reveals like And Simply Like That…, when Charlotte’s daughter’s “polysexual” ballerina boyfriend seemingly existed as a personality simply to be made enjoyable of. Which will replicate our tradition’s tendency to hurry towards judgment when issues appear outlandish.
“Many individuals do not follow curiosity on a constant foundation,” she tells Yahoo. “It is completely OK to find out polyamory is not for you, and concurrently, it doesn’t suggest the idea as an entire is inherently damaged and thus laughable.”
Individuals love watching relationships break down
Curtis says we’re having a second of “fear-based regression” within the U.S. proper now, main individuals to cling to conventional values and rebuke practices like polyamory, which require openness and curiosity. As a society, we is likely to be fascinated by novelty, however we’re additionally naturally jaded.
Skepticism and backlash are pure responses to any form of phenomenon, particularly in relation to our personal interpersonal and romantic relationships. Polyamory not feels shiny and new. When it fails, it makes headlines. When it succeeds, it feels routine — sensible like a piece schedule or a joint mortgage fee, therapist Kaila Hattis tells Yahoo.
It seems like we’re watching and studying tales about it blowing up now greater than ever as a result of that’s what makes an interesting story: Battle, jealousy and the dissolution of a love affair. The individuals quietly and stably residing collectively aren’t serving as juicy leisure.
“That evolution may really feel much less flashy to the skin world, nevertheless it displays progress in our cultural dialog about love, intimacy and selection,” therapist Tammy Nelson tells Yahoo. Maybe it’s now flashier for polyamory to fail onscreen as a result of the idea itself is not new.
