Triple J radio host Dee Salmin describes how embracing a two-year ‘boy sober’ period after the COVID pandemic transformed her perspective on relationships. During this time, she avoided dating, sex, and any interactions involving men, leading to a profound personal reset.
What Does ‘Boy Sober’ Mean?
Salmin, partner of Collingwood AFL star Darcy Moore, explains that ‘boy sober’ involves completely stepping away from romantic entanglements with men. This deliberate break allowed her to challenge societal expectations. ‘When you’ve grown up in a heteronormative world that has tied women’s worth to finding a partner, it’s important to take some time reflecting on that and trying to figure out what you actually want, rather than what you’ve been socially conditioned to want,’ she states.
Life-Changing Benefits
The experience left Salmin content and fulfilled on her own. ‘It completely changed my life,’ she shares. ‘I got to a place where I was so happy and content on my own that the idea of not having a partner in my future actually excited me.’
She observes that rushing into relationships often leads to overlooking red flags. ‘I’ve seen friends look past red flags, incompatibilities, misaligned values, or just the fact that the guy they’re dating low-key kinda sucks, just because they’re desperate to be in a relationship,’ Salmin notes.
Promoting a New Book on Love and Relationships
In her new book exploring sex, love, and relationships, Salmin dedicates chapters to embracing single life, de-centering men, and going ‘boy sober.’ Other sections address ‘Why do we date people who are bad for us?’ and ‘Sex happens to women.’
She critiques heterosexual culture, including the ‘heteronormativity of weddings,’ and argues society fails to challenge ‘straight culture’ enough because it is ‘massively cringe and embarrassing.’ One chapter drew from personal sexual experiences she had never discussed publicly.
Relationship with Darcy Moore
Salmin and Moore, who began dating in early 2023, delayed moving in together to avoid traditional ‘hetero-dynamic learnt behaviours.’ They made their first major public appearance at the 2023 Brownlow Medal.
In late 2025, the couple finally shared a home. Moore, 30, says the change has strengthened their bond. ‘In a weird way, it’s been good for me to be able to share that because often [as captain] I have to be the source of strength and stability and calm,’ he explains. ‘To be able to show her the real and challenging part of it has felt really nice,’ as she now witnesses his athletic struggles firsthand.
