Expensive Abby: My husband calls out for his previous girlfriend when he sleeps

DEAR ABBY: My husband of 4 1/2 years had an previous girlfriend he was on and off with for 15 years. She handed away whereas he was in jail. We acquired married three months after he was launched.

The factor is, when he sleeps, nearly each night time, he says her title and the way a lot he loves her. He says as a result of he’s doing it in his sleep, he doesn’t know he’s doing it. It appears to upset him that I’m upset. He doesn’t need to harm me. What can I do to take care of it or get him to cease doing it? — DREADS THE BED IN COLORADO

DEAR DREADS: Your husband was on and off along with his late girlfriend for much longer than he has been married to you. Outdated habits die onerous. If he wakes you when this occurs, don’t hesitate to softly wake him.

If he asks why you probably did it, clarify that he was speaking in his sleep. (Don’t be particular about what.) Then attempt to do not forget that she is historical past, and you’re proper subsequent to him.

DEAR ABBY: I’m a senior widow who has been courting an older man for a 12 months now. He’s caring and considerate and has many good qualities, however one factor he does is create issue for me. He always stares at different girls.

I’ve talked with him a couple of “five-second rule,” however he doesn’t hear me. He informed me he was raised by his mom and grandmother and that’s why he’s drawn to girls typically. He says it doesn’t imply something.

I’ve by no means been with a person who always appears at different girls. He additionally prefers to have girls associates slightly than males associates.

I don’t need to be jealous, however generally it’s onerous holding these emotions down. I’m making an attempt to resolve whether or not I ought to finish this relationship or keep in it and attempt to overcome my emotions of jealousy. — RED FLAG IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR RED FLAG: If this particular person makes you are feeling much less good about your self, acknowledge it’s a crimson flag. His habits is insensitive and impolite. As a result of you could have requested him to cease watching girls when he’s with you and he makes excuses to proceed, my recommendation is to discover a companion who’s extra thoughtful of your emotions.

DEAR ABBY: My spouse of 31 years and I’ve been preventing over politics and cultural adjustments in our nation. The arguments have cooled down by mutual settlement, however so has our sexual need for one another.

Our marriage guide has all the time taken my spouse’s place; I’m left alone. I’ve no assist from the remainder of my household (three pretty daughters), however I nonetheless love and respect my spouse. She informed me that I need to swap my politics to hers or she is going to depart me. What do I do? — THREATENED IN WISCONSIN

DEAR THREATENED: Inform your spouse and her marriage guide that as your political arguments have dwindled, so has your intercourse life. It might be time to hunt skilled counseling with another person by yourself. Your spouse’s ultimatum is unrealistic. Until the 2 of you possibly can comply with disagree, take her up on her provide.

Expensive Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also referred to as Jeanne Phillips, and was based by her mom, Pauline Phillips. Contact Expensive Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Field 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.